Just before nightfall, I became extremely overwhelmed. The events of the last few days were more than I could cram into my thoughts. No one to call and nowhere to turn. There are very few people who understand personally living with chronic illness compounded with parenting children with chronic illness. I could hardly breathe and haven’t felt myself so far from the presence of God in a very long... time. So, I hesitatingly left the kids at home and out the door I went. I planned to just walk around the block a time or two, but each step I took increased in speed to the point where I was almost running. I recalled a time in my late 20’s when I was loaded to my eyeballs with doctor prescribed steroids. I was given the steroids to alleviate polio symptoms. The doctor told me then to avoid all exercise except minimal walking to conserve my “energy”. I soon learned that the steroids made it possible for me to run and run and run and run.
I can totally understand the frustration that my beautiful son feels when doctors tell him not to do something. Most people would think it is rebellion. But, is it rebellion to want to do what everyone else can do? To see other people run and leap or be able to go to school without missing half the year due to illness! That was my life as a child, too. We didn’t have “504 plans or accommodations” back then. Many times these accommodations just means that you get a passing grade for material you never did and never learned.
My thoughts tonight kept being interrupted by a young man who kept passing me as I was walking the trail. So, I did what any middle-aged female with post-polio syndrome would do… I started running, too. I passed him up fairly quickly because he wasn’t running very fast. There was the adrenaline rush I remember from long ago. Sigh, I was created to run and run and run! Yes, this is why Alexander the great likes to climb up 10-foot walls and leap to the ground. This is why he soars over the sides of buildings until he reaches the top. Because on the top of the building he no longer has to worry about missing months of the school year and how he will catch up or blood checks or being diabetic. At the top of the roof, he is the conquering king of the castle. Yes, and tonight I was the queen of that trail. In the morning, my legs will probably ache and I will have trouble getting out of the bed. I will be reminded that running with PPS isn’t such a great idea. But, at least for tonight, I kicked PPS in the teeth.
I am determined to help my son overcome this new problem of low bone density. He was created to achieve great things. Most people would have crumbled if faced with half of the challenges he has already overcome in his life. I hope Alexander can see that God has established his purpose deep inside of him. I pray that he will not let “friends” or people that do not share that vision weigh him down. One day God is going to use all of that enthusiasm and energy that Alexander has for His glory and Alex will use all of these challenges to help other people overcome… just like he is overcoming through God’s help.
It was good to be reminded that God’s presence and purpose is in us even when a dark cloud seems to be on the out of us.
I can totally understand the frustration that my beautiful son feels when doctors tell him not to do something. Most people would think it is rebellion. But, is it rebellion to want to do what everyone else can do? To see other people run and leap or be able to go to school without missing half the year due to illness! That was my life as a child, too. We didn’t have “504 plans or accommodations” back then. Many times these accommodations just means that you get a passing grade for material you never did and never learned.
My thoughts tonight kept being interrupted by a young man who kept passing me as I was walking the trail. So, I did what any middle-aged female with post-polio syndrome would do… I started running, too. I passed him up fairly quickly because he wasn’t running very fast. There was the adrenaline rush I remember from long ago. Sigh, I was created to run and run and run! Yes, this is why Alexander the great likes to climb up 10-foot walls and leap to the ground. This is why he soars over the sides of buildings until he reaches the top. Because on the top of the building he no longer has to worry about missing months of the school year and how he will catch up or blood checks or being diabetic. At the top of the roof, he is the conquering king of the castle. Yes, and tonight I was the queen of that trail. In the morning, my legs will probably ache and I will have trouble getting out of the bed. I will be reminded that running with PPS isn’t such a great idea. But, at least for tonight, I kicked PPS in the teeth.
I am determined to help my son overcome this new problem of low bone density. He was created to achieve great things. Most people would have crumbled if faced with half of the challenges he has already overcome in his life. I hope Alexander can see that God has established his purpose deep inside of him. I pray that he will not let “friends” or people that do not share that vision weigh him down. One day God is going to use all of that enthusiasm and energy that Alexander has for His glory and Alex will use all of these challenges to help other people overcome… just like he is overcoming through God’s help.
It was good to be reminded that God’s presence and purpose is in us even when a dark cloud seems to be on the out of us.
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