Alexander

The young man handcuffed to the swing is my son Alexander. Notice the smirk on his face? He is so excited about handcuffing himself. This is typical Alex! Always the cut up. There isn't a day that he doesn't make me laugh. He is 13-years-old. This time last year his legs were a bloody war zone from self-inflicted injuries. This was a stress response from feeling helpless due to abuse inflicted on him by his stepfather and my failure to protect him. I was homeschooling him at the time and he was failing miserably academically. We were all coming undone. Isaiah, the young man in the orange t-shirt, is my youngest son. He was adopted through the state. Isaiah is a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome and sensory processing disorder. These are the legacies he inherited from his biological mother's drug use.  This time last year, Isaiah was raging (violent temper tantrums) and having difficulty sleeping. Both boys are enrolled in school today and doing well.

Alexander brought home his report card today. He had all A's and B's and received the highest grade (1) in citizenship. He calls his teacher his best friend. The Duncans, the family that owns the school, saved my son's life. I truly believe this with my entire heart. God chose them to heal Alex. They are amazing people that just ooze grace. There have been times when I haven't been able to pay our tuition (most months) and they carry me until I can raise the money. I can see God in them by the way they offer us acceptance when we deserve it the least. Isn't that when it counts the most?

Alexander still has scars on his legs from the wounds he created. He has the tendency to attack his legs on occasion when his interactions with his stepfather become too intense. I wouldn't call the interactions abusive any longer, but they trigger past memories. I guess they can be abusive at times. Because my childhood was so very abusive, it is hard for me to recognize what is and isn't abuse. If someone doesn't have their hands around my neck trying to strangle me (like my father) then it isn't so bad. Obviously, I am exaggerating here. But, I am sure you can see the dilemma. However, God is faithful and he is healing my children. He is healing their stepfather. He is healing me. Their stepfather can only take the children and I in small doses at a time. Too much time and the old patterns return. We all have our patterns though. Things with which we struggle. Things that God is still changing within us. He is faithful to continue the work, however.

I am amazed when I remember where we were one year ago. Yes, there is a lot of pain and turmoil surrounding our life today. But, there is also lots of grace and mercy and miracles. God worked one big huge miracle in the way he has restored my children. I tend to go to one extreme or the other still, but I have faith that God will help me learn a proper balance. God continue to help us. God heal my marriage. Restore our family.