Fasting

I used to think that I had no choice but to be a glutton. My mind was deceived into believing that I had no control over anything. My mother had control over my sister and I. She used criticism and abuse to force us to do everything she wanted. Even as an adult, I did all she asked out of a fear of disappointing her. I had so much fear deep inside of me. This fear caused hurt and deception to control my life.

Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart and mind is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

The truth is that I didn’t want to do what was right because it was easier to do what was wrong. I was receiving a gain from living in sin. Even the bible says that sin brings pleasure for a season! The sin of gluttony helped me forget my childhood and it helped me deal with the stress of everyday life. Turning to God, while the best thing to do, often took patience and waiting. Turning to food, although short-lived, was instant relief. It was easier to numb myself than to do the work it would require to overcome negative patterns I inherited through my childhood. It was easier to turn to food than allow myself to hurt. It was easier to turn to food than to allow myself to become emotionally weak. When the Father instructed me to start fasting for Him, He was instructing me to become weak. Fasting involves humbling yourself, admitting your own weakness, and waiting patiently on God.

 “I humbled my soul with fasting. Psalm 35:13.

I couldn’t understand why God wouldn’t help me all those years when I begged and pleaded for his help. But, I think it is because I wasn’t willing to feel the pain. Ironically, being so heavy was causing me to live in constant turmoil. Yet, I was eating so much food that it kept me numbed emotionally. The act of fasting causes you to become afflicted. It makes you weak and forces you to feel those things you have worked so hard to stuff inside you through food. Daniel 9:3 tells us that Daniel, set his face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes. This means that he prayed, fasted, and mourned or was willing to feel pain! It is only when we are willing to be weak and allow those painful memories to seep out that we become sensitive to hear God's voice.

There are many accounts in the bible about people who fasted so they could hear God’s voice. 2 Chronicles 20, tells us of Jehoshaphat fasting and telling his armies to fast so they could hear from God. It is important to hear God’s voice because He alone can help you as you unlock hidden hurts that cause you to turn to food to numb yourself. 

It is an awesome experience to hear God's voice. Is it enough to listen and not do what He says? This is another key.

But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. James 1: 22