Talk the Talk

I was able to go see Alexander's song service at school today. Words cannot express how excited I was to be able to see the kids share from their heart. I was also so thankful for the opportunity to support my son. He kept looking at me beaming that I was there to see him "perform". The children are so amazing as is this school. Alex has gone to private schools in the past, but this school oozes grace and the owners are the epitome of how Christians should behave. I want so much to be like Mrs.D. As soon as I got there, she was hugging me and telling me how much she misses me. She already knows all the details of my situation with our former church. (She goes to that church as well.) I remember the day I was sharing my story with her. I felt grace washing over me. "This is what its like to be filled with the Holy Spirit," I recall thinking. I had brought gifts for each of the D family members and was as excited as a little kid on Christmas day. You'd think nothing could steal my joy, eh?

After the service started, one of the leaders from my former church walks in the door. I could feel that all too familiar twang of rejection and pain mixed with a bit of anger at the way we were treated. I'm so far from what I know God wants me to be! Just yesterday, God told me I can't be responsible for the behavior of anyone but myself. God showed me a word picture of building a wall around myself and allowing others to behave as they choose outside of the wall. (The wall being God, of course.) God also told me that I am supposed to be salt and light to all with which I come in contact. "You must leave the actions of others to me, and allow my Holy Spirit to show you how to respond to their actions. Even a Christian can be led to a deeper walk with me by your witness." This is what God said to me yesterday. I know this wasn't a coincidence.

I could hear those words in my head once again as I was faced with the rejection. Again.. by this leader. A few times I tried to get her eye contact, determined to extend love and grace to her. Then God gently reminded me that I was allowing myself to experience negative feelings because I was making the situation all about me. I was determined to obey what God had showed me and determined I was going to go up to her, hug her, and tell her I missed her. All of this would be true. She left immediately after the service and since she was standing by the door I didn't have a way to catch her. This made me feel sad, but I felt glad knowing that God knew my heart was willing to do the right thing... If I could only say that every day! I pray that God would help me to be led by His Holy Spirit and treat others the way HE would treat them.