Humiliation

There was another situation this weekend like so many other ones. We went to Taco Cabana for lunch. Ken passed out the lunch. He gave every one side dishes except Alexander. Alexander received a taco. A solitary taco. Why? For no reason, in my opinion, except to let Alexander know his place in the world. I was busy opening taco wrappers and didn't notice until I heard Alex ask for rice. He already knows to ask. If he had started to serve himself he would have gotten snapped at. Isaiah was already shoveling the beans on his plate. Isaiah has a ridiculously healthy self-identity. Ken told Alex that he couldn't have any rice. The taco was enough. We were the only ones on the patio. This is typical of lunches out when we are alone. Its always a war between Ken and Alex... and then I always have to intervene which hurts my marriage. But, what am I supposed to do? I ignore it and I am allowing abuse. I say something and I am disrespecting my husband.