God is Good Always

My son was waiting for a friend to come pick him up for maybe his only second or third sleep over. I’m really paranoid about letting my children out of my sight for a moment. (Almost sick with worry now just thinking about him not being here!) I was just hanging out watching my kid wear a hole in the tile pacing back and forth waiting for our friends. They were running a little behind and Alexander was almost ready to throw up over the delay. When a little delay turned into a lot delay he found himself on the couch in tears. “They aren’t coming!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I have to stop for a moment to say that a normal child would probably have not responded to this situation in such a manner. However, it took my kid a lot of courage for this moment. We’ve been building up the courage for this particular sleep over for about two years. I am not joking. The last time we did a sleep over Alexander could hardly enjoy himself because he was too concerned with all the “potential” dangers that lurked everywhere. It’s a wonder he didn’t make himself throw up with worry. I’m pleased to announce he kept himself from being accosted, molested, exposed to inappropriate material…. But at what cost? I’m sure Abby and Jean Rony are still wondering what is wrong with my kid! I hope they know that there is nothing wrong with my kid… lots wrong with the mama though.

So, I couldn’t help but wonder how I could have possibly done this to my child. I never wanted to do this to my son. It was my goal to protect him from all the nut jobs in this world. I never meant to turn him into the emotional mess that sat crying on the couch certain that his friends really weren’t coming and then scared to death that they really WERE COMING. After I walked Alex to my friend’s car I recalled my own childhood. My sister and I were never allowed to have friends spend the night or even call our house, we weren’t allowed to spend the night at anyone else’s house or visit anyone’s house. Our upbringing was about as strict as you can imagine. Its ironic because my mother fought so hard to keep the evil from coming in when the evil lived right there in our home. In the process of trying to protect my kids, I prevent them from experiencing some wonderful things with people that are nothing like my very wounded parents. I’m learning to let go. It’s hard. It’s been a very difficult process of seeing the goodness of God in people. I’ve seen too much evil in my life at an early age. It makes it difficult to trust the goodness of God. Every time I see my friend Ange she tells me, “God is good always.” She will never know how much this has meant to me in in all the years I have known her. I NEED to hear that over and over again.

The other day my very wise and gifted friend Laurie emailed me writing, “…are all preparing him for something God has planned for him.” She was encouraging me about my son Alexander. However, her words have stuck with me concerning all of my children. It’s easy to believe that the events in our life happen randomly for no purpose. I tend to quickly lose sight of the fact that God does all things in preparation for other things he is planning to do with our lives.

Dear Lord, I’m grateful to be Your daughter and to experience the benefits of finding my worth and value in You, my King. Help me encourage other women to do the same. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.