Giants

My oldest son has type 1 diabetes. When he first started to become sick, we blamed other things, because he was always such a strong boy. His own pediatrician even called him "Bam Bam" and ignored his symptoms, too. From birth, Alex could do things other newborns could not do like hold a rattle and other objects in his hand. Most infants just clench their hands into little fists. We didn't have to childproof our home because Alex had amazing common sense and almost a supernatural intuition. One day, my mother tried to use Clorox wipes instead of baby wipes on him. He wouldn't let her use them even though the baby could not even read! 

I can't remember what I did with Isaiah and our foster kids the day Alex became really sick. I remember that my husband was at work.  I only remember that Alex was admitted to ICU. That would be the first time a doctor would tell me that my son might not "make it". That would not be the last time, however, that an almighty God would save the life of my beloved son. This illness has taken so much from us. It has made us lose sight of what is important at times and caused us to wander at other times. Months and months of missed school has taken the boy with the ridiculously high IQ and made him feel less than adequate. Making him choose to act like he doesn't care rather than admit he doesn't know the work. How would he know it when he wasn't in school? People, including those in positions of authority, have shamed him or belittled him. Like the teacher a couple of years ago who wouldn't let him go to the nurse. When she finally let him go, the nurse sent us to the hospital because Alex was so sick. Alex doesn't always look sick. He may come across as sleepy or defiant. He may even look very normal. Apparently, this autoimmune disease was present years before Alex was diagnosed. These incidents with people who do not understand aren't isolated. They happen time and time again. Sometimes, children learn to protect themselves from painful situations. For example, they may make fun of all things. If they act as if nothing matters, then perhaps eventually nothing will and they do not have to feel the pain of shame, hurt, and fear. This can take a toll on someone's soul when the heart hardens. If nothing matters, it can seep into school work and relationships with people that were once important. As a parent, this is hard to see happening. Still, you can only keep so many plates spinning. So, you start to forget your own child's purpose. You start to just focus on keeping the child alive. This becomes the only thing you have the energy to do, and believe me, this can take up all of your energy at times. Especially when the medical bills become all surmounting. 

This weekend, the pastor talked about facing the giants in our life. I started to realize that one of my giants has been my son's illness or perhaps my fear about my son's illness. When I was pregnant with Alex, there were many circumstances that tried to lead me not to give birth to him including my own health. Nonetheless, I knew that my baby was going to do great things. God told me so. He told me that the doctors and the AFP test were wrong. That my baby was going to be fine. It didn't come as a shock to me that against what the doctor told me, my baby was born without problems and was born with a gift of unusual strength. God knew Alex would need to be strong. I know Alex has that strength still. Alex wasn't spanked but entered the world screaming and reaching out to grab the nurse holding him. God reminded me of my son's birth. He also reminded me that His purpose for Alexander the Great did not end the day he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. We have taken several detours that I do not believe were God's best for our life. Thankfully, I know God is able to set us back on the course that is best. Alexander means defender of man. This is my prayer for my son. I know when he develops a passion for others, he will find God's purpose for his own life. Please join with me to pray that 2014 would be the year of the Lord's favor for my son and that he would find a passion for God's purpose in his life. Please pray that Alex and I would release the fears that hold us from experiencing all that God has for us. May we have faith as my youngest son, Isaiah, who remains seizure-free since the day he announced, "God isn't going to let me have another seizure....." Alex Ybarra is my hero in so many ways. I don't know many people who would have been able to face all the giants he has faced in his life and still be standing. Stand strong my beautiful son. God stands with you and so do I.