Non-Custodial Parents

Non-custodial parents, 

 Your children don't understand when you make excuses not to see them. They are confused when you are too busy for them, but have time to volunteer, attend bible studies, go to Vegas, and spend countless hours on your side business. They don't want to go to Vegas, but they have never been on a family vacation. They don't get why you visit YOUR family and don't take them. They'd love to have aunts and uncles and cousins, too. It makes no sense to them when you have no money to buy them dinner and yet have money for big screen tv's and out of town conferences. When you promise to come every Friday and only show up every couple of months, they don't get that you may have hurt feelings concerning their other parent. To them its about them.

When you ignore their calls and text messages, they start to hate you. Their hate is the only thing that helps them endure the hurt. Then they hate themselves for hating you.

They see your rejection as a statement that something is wrong and not good enough about them. They grow up with a part of themselves broken and hurting.

You put the other parent in a position where they don't want to lie, but they don't want to put you down either. They deal with the children's anger and hurt and hopelessness.

Is it that difficult to give an hour or two of your week to children you claim to love? You are hurting your children in ways that may be impossible to heal. You hurt God as well. This isn't His will for your kids.

Their stepparent tries hard to fill the void and he is doing a great job, but they still wonder where are you. They feel guilty because they invite their stepparent to their performances at school before you. They know he will come. They know you normally do not. And even though its normal for them to attach to someone who keeps his word, they feel like they betray you. Its you who has betrayed them.

We pray for you and we also wonder how its so easy for you to turn your back on these kids. We pray God will soften the hardness of your heart towards them.

We hope you will change your ways while the children are still willing to receive you. You are pursuing so many other things hard. And you may reap great success and personal happiness in those endeavors. The sacrifice of your children is a very high price to pay. Have you counted the cost?