Sins of the Fathers

The Book of Job tells the story of a man named Job. Job was a good man. Job trusted God. But Job had terrible troubles. The devil caused Job’s troubles (Job 1:12; Job 2:6-7). But Job did not know this fact. So Job thought that God caused the problems (Job 19:1-12). In fact, God did not cause Job’s troubles. God merely permitted Job to suffer. Still, Job trusted God. And Job refused to insult God (Job 2:9-10). Job’s friends tried to help Job. But their advice was wrong. They did not think that God would allow an innocent person to suffer. So they thought that Job was guilty. They guessed that Job had done many wicked things (Job 22:4-11). There is much more to the story of Job, but for the sake of my blog post this is all I will share. I encourage you to go and read Job's story in the bible. There is much to learn from Job.

I lived in a highly critical home as a little girl. I quickly learned the art of people pleasing as a way to gain acceptance. I excelled in school and in work and in friendships because I ran myself ragged pleasing everyone.

The Father delivered me from the sin of people-pleasing recently, but I sometimes fall back into those old habits. Its kind of like someone offering to cover the dinner check, but you keep snatching the bill from their hand. I keep snatching my bad habits back from the throne of grace. It isn't wrong to want to please others. This is a godly characteristic. However, it becomes sin when your desire to please others exceeds your desire to please God.

I found myself in this place recently. A man prayed for my son to be delivered from his seizures. He ended the conversation with a warning that perhaps I have sin that is "causing" my son to have the seizures. I felt the need to please these people. The examination of all things wrong with me began again. Yes, there is sin in my life I am sad to confess. I am imperfect in so many ways. I often find my size ten shoes in my mouth and wish I could take my words back. I often fail to do things I know I should do. There is sin in my life. There are many areas in which I fall short. I am sure my children suffer because of my short comings as any children suffer because of the dysfunctions of their parents. But, it wasn't until today after going to my own beloved church and hearing my precious pastor and his wife speak that I realized my short comings and sin are not the cause of my son's seizures. Going to church was like a waterfall of grace and healing and covering over the judgments of others. Healing and embracing and freeing me.

I could hear God speak to me through Pastor and then through the spirit in me. My son's seizures are not caused because of my sin. My son has seizures because his biological mother was a drug addict that permanently damaged my child's brain. This is the only reason my son has seizures. Isaiah came to us at nine months of age still raging from being addicted to cocaine and alcohol. He couldn't hold his head up and his neurologist said it would be a long, long time before he would walk or talk. BUT, God said otherwise. He learned to walk and talk in a timely manner. Then the doctor said my son would probably be in special education classes, but Isaiah has never been in special education classes. And just like God healed Isaiah of his stuttering and drooling, God will heal Isaiah of seizures. That is why God told us to name my son Isaiah. Beauty for ashes. Isaiah is beauty for ashes. My life is beauty for ashes. And my God is the God of beauty for ashes. I pray that I wouldn't be so easily swayed by the opinions of other people. May I find my need for acceptance in the arms of my Father. May God help me filter the words of others through His Holy Spirit. Shalom.