At tonight's bible study, the leader asked us about our heart's desires. I came home wondering, "What are my heart's desire?" The first thing I could think of was being used for a godly purpose. Then I saw Ken's face in my thoughts. I used to think that my future would involve him. He has almost completely gone on with his life. I don't blame him. Who would want to be with someone who is so angry? Anger isn't my heart's desire. I want to get past the anger I feel about my situation with Ken. I want to get past the anger over all the abuse my children had to endure. I want to get past the disappointment that Ken still refuses to take anger management classes so we can go home. I think my son has moved on. Why can't I?
I want God to protect my children from everything, but His glory. If its for His glory and their good then go for it Lord. I know He knows best and my desire is that they know Him best, too.
I know I am not called to be single, yet I can't seem to get it right. I am waiting, Lord. I am listening.. I am open to receive only those things and people which you have placed in my life.
All of my longings and heart's desires are laying at the throne of your unimaginable grace, Father.
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