Pre-K

Today was Isaiah's first day of pre-k. Israel (Alex's bio dad) and I walked him to school this morning and Isaiah rode his scooter. Isaiah had asked Israel to come from the valley to take him to school this morning. Most of you have heard about the unusual bond these two have so it made sense that Isaiah would want him here today. We went through the cafeteria line and sat down to assist Isaiah with breakfast. Shortly after we sat down, Isaiah asks Israel to take him to the restroom. It turns out that Isaiah had already had an accident before they made it to the restroom. (A sign that this event was more stressful on Isaiah than I realized.) So, we used the only change of clothing I had with us and assured Isaiah that all was well.

Ms. Johnson was equally calm when I gave her the news. "Its okay. We will call you if we need more clothes today." Isaiah wanted me to stay with him, but accepted that only Ms. Johnson would be staying with him. He hugged Israel. He hugged me. He then gave Israel a "high five" and went into his classroom. I came home where I couldn't decide if I wanted to eat the refrigerator or pray for my son. I prayed for my son. Isaiah's dad called shortly after to let me know he had arrived at the school late. I resisted the urge to chastise him. Praise God for holding my tongue. He told me he went into the classroom and they were having reading time. I was horrified to hear he had interrupted the class, but didn't tell him this. He took photographs of Isaiah during reading time and then left. Now I really worked myself up into a panic. What will Ms. Johnson think of my family? Just when I was sufficiently worked up and almost to the refrigerator...

I received a call from Lizzy. "How are you?" I can't believe she remembered today was first day of school. Has there ever been a more faithful friend?  She kept me from overeating today. Just hearing her calm and reassuring voice. I praise God for his grace for bringing me my friend this morning. Its his grace that keeps me from sin. She told me that it wasn't that big of a deal that Ken took photographs during reading time. It was good to get someone else's perspective. I know Isaiah's father did his best to get to the school on time. He has a really severe form of ADD that isn't being treated. Him not getting to the school on time is a great example of his ADD. Me freaking out about him interrupting the class is a great example of my problem with people pleasing. I really worried that the teacher would feel disrespected.

Today, we see Dr. Karnik for the "final" diagnosis concerning Isaiah's brain issues. He will let me know what all the tests have determined. Sometimes I think my son is just a "normal" little boy. At other times, for example this morning at breakfast, he just sat there staring into space. He gets these episodes where he just stares. Isaiah's therapist said he has autism. Its amazing how alarmed I can become when I start to listen to what all these experts tell me. I have determined that no matter what I hear today I am going to trust in God to see me through.

God has blessed us so much. I am amazed each day when I wake up in this little house. I am amazed that God carried us through this summer and met each of our needs. I was able to stay home with my boys. That is a miracle! I still don't have a job, but I'm sure God has something for me. I've been sending out resumes and I know something is around the corner for us. I feel this hopeful anticipation. And there have been these surprise blessings. Things that I didn't expect in my life at this time that God has allowed. Little things to let me know I wasn't the ugly duckling I thought I was... little things to let me know I am not helpless and hopeless. People that call when I'm going to eat the refrigerator.. (my former answer to stress is eating too much and I just don't do that now!) people that call in the morning to let me know I am special and appreciated when I am feeling fat and worthless... and scripture verses sent to me by friends that don't realize its just the verse I needed to read. God's grace is amazing.